Road Rage

Driving to work and remembered a poem I read. I can’t credit the author as I can’t remember who wrote it  and I have modified the language to make it less offensive.

I have never done any of these things I just think about them when people drive badly around me

Postman Pat Cut me up,

Acted as if he didn’t give a F***

So I wound down my window and called him a P***

Turned around my car and squashed his cat

White van driver ran a red light

He put down his foot and disappeared from sight.

I caught up with him twenty minutes later.

Blocked his exhaust with an old potato

No mirrors or signal caused such a fuss

As he crossed two lanes in his big red bus

So I slammed on my brakes did an emergency stop

watched him get caught by the traffic cop.

Well all that vicarious violence and aggression made me feel better. However may I recommend if someone is very aggressive towards you in a car.  Smile sweetly and blow them a kiss  then accelerate away. It doesn’t half upset them. It is also very satisfying.